When my sister, a fellow introvert, calls me during introvert recharge time, I know there's a serious emergency going down.
BAT!
My Lawn Is an Interdimensional Portal
When I lose stuff, I lose it catastrophically. I lost a bunch of jewelry for four years because I forgot an entire compartment existed in my jewelry box. I lost half my cutlery when I moved out of Florida because it was in a ziploc bag inside a box labeled 'Disney training manuals' that I... Continue Reading →
That Time I Met the Really Real Santa Claus
I gave my best Disney smile and wave as I watched the last of the day's dozen trainees depart the building, sending them out into the world as full-fledged Disney cast members.
As soon as they were all out of sight, I collapsed, exhausted, against the wall.
"'Tis the season for Brazilians," I sang under my breath...
Laura's Holiday Gift Guide (For People You Hate)
Folks, it's that time of year once again for the nonoptional social convention of buying gifts for all the people you love, as well as some people you intensely dislike but cannot avoid. I am--and this is a holiday miracle--already well underway with my holiday shopping, and I'm always looking to help, so I thought... Continue Reading →
The Poop Shift (Alternate Title: Craptain)
In a recent blog post, I mentioned one of my last shifts at Disney's Hollywood Studios, and referred to it as 'the poop shift', but did not elaborate.
I've decided to elaborate....
Zippy's Trunk: An Inventory
I may or may not have mentioned before that, in 2007, I had to emergency-purchase a car because my existing car, a Dodge Stratus, um, caught fire. I replaced that dodgy Dodge with Zippy, a little one-year-old Hyundai Elantra who, despite having spent his existence to that point as a rental car in Central Florida,... Continue Reading →
The Mad TP-er
Given the current state of...well, everything, I'd like to begin by emphasizing that the events described here took place in 1995, during which time the current, ongoing toilet paper shortage was not even a thought in anyone's mind, and any toilet paper stockpiled 26 years ago would probably not inspire any butt-wiping confidence in the... Continue Reading →
It's true. All of it.
Did you ever hear a good piece of gossip and then realize that it's actually about you? Has your legend ever grown so large that you don't even recognize it any more? Mine has. Let me tell you a tale... Back in 2003, on my Disney College Program, I was trained against my will to... Continue Reading →
The Weirdest Thing in the Neighborhood
My neighborhood--as I have indicated in many, many previous blog posts--is weird. But forget all the lawn panties, the stoned joggers, the barbershops that are frequently under new management, the contantly-watching-me apartment dwellers, and the many, many questionable decisions regarding yard decor: my neighborhood has now officially gained its weirdest thing yet. By which I... Continue Reading →
So, let me tell you about yesterday…
When I moved into this house, as a renter, it did not surprise me to find a cheap fiberglass whirlpool that had been DIY'ed into place by the landlord. He hadn't bothered to ensure that the flooring was even when he'd installed it, so the bottom of the tub had cracked as a result. (This... Continue Reading →
Laura Writes 