This Town (dare you not to sing it as you read)

Little town
It’s a quiet village
Every day
Like the one before
Little town
With a weirdness factor
Turning up to say…

Hi there!

Hi there!

Hi there!
Hi there!
Hi there!

There go the neighbors, running late, like always
They see me, stop the car, and yell
Do I think I’ll make the train?
For if not, they will proclaim
I should jump in and we’ll beat the crossing bell–

(Spoken) “Dosvidanya, young lady!”
Dosvidanya, Mr. W!
“Where are you off to?”
The train station.  I’ve just finished the most wonderful blog post, about a book store, and a dragon, and–
“That’s nice.  …Vladimir!  The stroganoff! поторопись!”

Oh look, there’s Kate, she’s on the sidewalk, drawing
And she’s inspired, I can tell
For although she works in chalk
All the neighbors always gawk
As her artwork tends to give her husband hell.

“Hi there!”
“Morning!”
“I like your lawn gnomes!”

“Hi there!”
“Morning!”
“Your narwahl’s nice!”

“Is that
A thong?”
“Been there since Sunday.”
I wouldn’t trade this town for all my life!

(Spoken) “Good morning young lady!”
“Good morning!  I see the corner barbershop is under new management again.  Since when?”
“Just since yesterday! I’m still deciding what to rename it…”
“I say… This one!”
“Snippy McShaveFace?”
“Why not?  None of the other names have brought in any business: Mackhard, Burlington’s, Salon de Marie, literally just ‘The Corner Barbershop’…”
“All right.  All right.  If you like it all that much, I’ll go with that one.”
“Really?”
“I insist!  Maybe it’ll work.”
“Well, awesome!  Good luck!  Maybe this time you won’t close in six months!”

Look at this house, decked out for Christmas, New Year’s,
Thanksgiving, Valentine’s Day too
They display them all year long
And though some may think it’s wrong
I’ve no problem saying “Merry Boo to You”.

Oh! Isn’t this amazing!
It’s my favorite house, because–you’ll see
Here live my little buddies
Who adore me though I’m grown up and they’re six and three.

Now it’s no wonder that it’s closed forever
This shop that’s boarded up and locked
‘Cause when Corner Store’s your name
Then you lose your claim to fame
When you’re sitting in the middle of the block.

(Spoken) “There goes Laura again.”
“Running, as usual.”
“Think she’ll make it this time?”
“She doesn’t stand a chance.”
“Look! She did make it!”
“Right before the train crossing signal, too!”
“All right, who had 8:02 in the betting pool?”
“I did!  I win!”

“Right from the moment that she moved here, lived here
We said, ‘a hot mess’, and it’s plain
That we clearly weren’t wrong
‘Cause she hums this stupid song
Every morning as she races for the train.”

“Look there
She goes
She barely made it.”

“Ten bucks
Pay up
That means I won.”

“Her yard’s
A mess
She needs to mow it.”
I love this crazy, nosy, weirdo town!

Morning!
Hi There!
Good day!
Get lost!
What’s with the cobra?
(It’s taxidermy!)
Morning!
Hi There!
Good day!
Screw off!
What’s with your wife?
(That’s not my fault!)
Look there
Look where?
Is that–
I swear–
A passed out stoner?
(Was he trying to jog again?)
There’s nothing weirder than suburban life!

So that’s my village, and it’s strange but special
The weirdness factor’s all around
But although it may seem strange
There is nothing I would change
I really love it living here
It’s weird, but I love living here
I really do love living here…
This town!

(Hi there!)
(Morning!)

(Hi there!)
(Morning!)
(Good day!)
(Get lost!)